Are You Caught Between an Anxiety Rock and a Guilty Hard Place?
I just received an email with a quotation in it from The Invitation, by Visionary author, Oriah Mountain Dreamer: She wrote: "It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
.
.
.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself ...
and not betray your own soul.
" This quotation struck a chord with me because supporting people to recognize and honor their True Selves is a passion of mine.
What makes us feel so caught and stressed? A major cause of stress, overwhelm & burnt-outedness is the habit of ignoring the yearnings of our own True Selves while saying "yes" to other people's requests (or demands) for our time, money, actions, even beliefs.
What makes us do that? It's usually out of fears, and the false beliefs that go with the fears.
There's fear of disappointing others Do you believe that YOU are responsible for another's feelings and experience, and that the other person is not responsible for themselves? False belief.
This belief is often paired with the belief that others are responsible for your experience.
That belief can make you think that if you're not feeling happy, it is somebody else's fault, and can lead to anger and resentment.
And what about disappointing your own ever-growing self? Then there's fear of hurting someone Often with fear of hurting another is the belief that if another's feelings are hurt, they will abandon you or retaliate against you.
And that goes with the false belief that you are not really good enough if you don't provide or do what they want.
What about hurting your own self respect? How does it feel to think you have to "buy" affection? How we hurt our own self-esteem There are other common fears in saying 'No".
But whatever the fears are, the problem is that when we make choices out of fear, we deep down inside know it.
And that eats away at our self esteem.
We see our selves as weak and just perpetuate the false beliefs about our own unworthiness and lack of capability.
Unfortunately, the less capable you feel, the more overwhelming external events can feel.
If this sounds like you, you can find courage.
After all, courage is just a recognition that something else is more important than your fear.
And YOU are certainly more important than any fear.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
.
.
.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself ...
and not betray your own soul.
" This quotation struck a chord with me because supporting people to recognize and honor their True Selves is a passion of mine.
What makes us feel so caught and stressed? A major cause of stress, overwhelm & burnt-outedness is the habit of ignoring the yearnings of our own True Selves while saying "yes" to other people's requests (or demands) for our time, money, actions, even beliefs.
What makes us do that? It's usually out of fears, and the false beliefs that go with the fears.
There's fear of disappointing others Do you believe that YOU are responsible for another's feelings and experience, and that the other person is not responsible for themselves? False belief.
This belief is often paired with the belief that others are responsible for your experience.
That belief can make you think that if you're not feeling happy, it is somebody else's fault, and can lead to anger and resentment.
And what about disappointing your own ever-growing self? Then there's fear of hurting someone Often with fear of hurting another is the belief that if another's feelings are hurt, they will abandon you or retaliate against you.
And that goes with the false belief that you are not really good enough if you don't provide or do what they want.
What about hurting your own self respect? How does it feel to think you have to "buy" affection? How we hurt our own self-esteem There are other common fears in saying 'No".
But whatever the fears are, the problem is that when we make choices out of fear, we deep down inside know it.
And that eats away at our self esteem.
We see our selves as weak and just perpetuate the false beliefs about our own unworthiness and lack of capability.
Unfortunately, the less capable you feel, the more overwhelming external events can feel.
If this sounds like you, you can find courage.
After all, courage is just a recognition that something else is more important than your fear.
And YOU are certainly more important than any fear.
